nice-wig-janis:

do you remember when you were a kid and the doorbell rang you would run and see who it was, now i just run to my room instead

(via 10knotes)

fartgallery:

chesterloaf:

fartgallery:

i donate blood in the hopes that my blood will overpower theirs and take control of their body so i will gain another vessel to use as my own

why am I reblogging this?

it appears my blood has been successful

(via fake-mermaid)

caseyanthonyofficial:

Having to explain a joke is like going to prom with your sister

(via fake-mermaid)

supermoclel:

are you ever in the middle of saying something or showing someone something and you realize that literally no one caresĀ 

(via fake-mermaid)

ghostgif:

*walks into school*

[APPLAUSE]

(via fake-mermaid)

multipack:

if my life was a drink it would be room temperature coke with the ice melted

(Source: ihaveremade, via fake-mermaid)

egberts:

"you stole that joke from tumblr" i posted that joke to tumblr

(via fake-mermaid)